fix
by LABRET
Summary: prelude to deadly premonition. bl


1**Fix?**

_York_

It was dark and cold when we first really met.

You were lonely, just a child as was I. In fact, I had just been born, in your mind where I could watch over you, waiting.

When we first met in that dark, lonely place I knew I could fix you.

And when I first saw your sad eyes I knew I would be the best friend you ever had.

_Zach_

When I wanted to follow in my dad's footsteps, you were against it. You didn't want me to be stuck in his shadow. When you saw my last memory of him it only strengthened your argument against it.

I wouldn't give up, and finally you bit your tongue and we joined it.

That night we sat on the couch and watched a sci-fi flick.

Neither of us liked it that much, but I could tell that it made you happier.

I remember the first day at the academy; you were all piss and vinegar. You drank so much coffee that morning that I was too jittery to speak. I watched as you smoked in front of the Sargent's face.

I remember you laughed as I yelled.

We got kicked out that day, but I made it worth your while to go back.

Zach, do you remember that night? It was dark again but not as cold.

You were upset, sitting in that place I used to be.

You wouldn't even look at me when I went to stand in front of you.

You wouldn't even look at me.

Not until I made you look.

After we graduated and got that job, I was so excited.

I made sure we left on time while you were grumbling about coffee.

You slept while I looked out the window on the bus. I remember our reflection.

I saw your sleepy eyes and my smile.

You probably don't remember that, but I do.

The first case sucked.

We were forced into investigating the shittiest shit tier job the FBI could dig up. I didn't think you deserved it, no you deserved better.

You probably don't remember it. I blinded you and made you sleep.

I still talked to you, when you weren't there.

Sorry Zach...

-When we got the first clues about the seeds!

I remember the excitement I had, it was a real mystery. Finally.

You were excited too, York, I know you were. That's when you started to like the job as much as I do.

I was so happily to finally see you smile while at work-

That was when I first saw them. These monsters... the vines, the shadows, and the red smoke.

I knew it was me. I knew that it was from the darkness that I came from. That place that didn't really exist.

It was scary at first, seeing things that weren't really there. Things that could hurt me and not you.

I hope you never saw them. I never wanted anyone else to see that place.

We were alone that night.

Your girlfriend stood you up. Secretly, I was happy. You... you were all I really had, and it wasn't... fair.

God I sound like a woman. Don't laugh at me.

We were alone, and that was the first time I kissed you.

It was sad for some reason I don't know why.

I kissed you and held you tight. I remember feeling not as lonely.

Do you remember when we lost our virginity? It was with that pretty blonde I was dating... Connie.

I remember I let you try and you got scared. She flipped and left.

You were upset when I laughed.

A rainy night. We hid in a coffee shop. The coffee was sub-par by your standards, but your standards are high.

I was thinking to myself, happy that you and that chick, whatever her name was, had broken up.

I tried to talk to you, but you didn't answer, just looking at the rain dripping down the window.

It's weird seeing our reflections, your sad face, but my excitement shining through as well.

You looked away, I think you noticed.

I felted embarrassed, and a little proud.

There was only one person who could truly have you, and that was me.

Somehow I think you resented that.

But I made it up to you.

You were a better lay. I still find it funny that you swing that wa-

I still have nightmares about that case.

I was up against the wall in an alley, your cigarettes were on the ground and his gun was to my throat.

I couldn't call back up.

I was scared, so scared. I felt stupid for thinking I could handle it... handle being in control.

Before he could pull the trigger you took over.

You got really quiet for a long time.

I missed you.

I still talked to you.

But I didn't respond.

Do you remember the second case with the seeds?

You asked a question and scared me. I almost forgot you were there.

I only wanted to watch that case.

You were mad-

I was only being professional-

You were- You weren't paying attention. I made you get your coffee and helped you look around the crime scene. I wrote down notes and recorded the evidence.

That night we watched a movie and I made sure you slept well.

I did. I missed you.

Do you remember when Sharon broke up with me? I never thought I would have relationship problems.

I remember we met in that dark place, but it wasn't dark.

There were white trees that almost glowed.

You were waiting for me, all dressed up.

I remember you apologized, but I knew you were happy.

I remember... I remember being _lonely. Very_ lonely.

I always wondered what was going through your head...

I was so happy finally, under that tree.

That is my happi-

worst memory.

That was the longest I went without coffee.

I snapped at you, and didn't mean it mostly.

I got us in trouble at work, and you realized it. Realized what I had done.

I didn't want to hurt you.

Well... maybe that isn't-

I had to fix your mess, make us stay in that job. I couldn't lose the only thing that was mine.

The case with the red seeds, it was our only hope.

We were the only ones on it after then, if we could solve it, we could stay.

I think it was dad- that _thing_ you did- that really made him agree to let us stay.

Do you remember that night?

I remember that night

before we left.

That dark place -

where I reside.

I was waiting for you under that same tree. You joined me, albeit reluctantly.

We made love, but you never said a word.

Did you do it just to make me happy? Do you pity me...

I only wanted you to be happy...

I only wanted to be with you... just you and me-

-you know I'm not-

-I was-

-please-

-I'm sorry.

You got quiet after that, but I still talked to you like you were still listening.

I don't think you remember.

The time I spent in that dark place. The time I spent with our memories.

My memories with you. I couldn't believe... that you were real.

Yeah... that's it.

My favorite memories... were always the ones of you.

Zach... this case will be hard without you, but I think I can do it.

I always listen to when you talk out loud.

It's the only way I know I exist beyond this place.

Zach, I never thank you for making me exist- maybe that's why you- I hope you can forgive me- please don't- for when I have to go.

Zach, will you talk to me when I'm gone?

Sometimes I feel betrayed, remembering when I first saw you in that dark, lonely place.

I remember your smile, and I remember you saying that it'd be alright, that you were there.

But here in this dark place, alone forever and with only your voice to comfort me.

You haven't really fixed a thing.


End file.
